On Remus and Sirius
by m-erechyn
Summary: Peter on Remus, Sirius, and Remus-and-Sirius. "I guess I can’t really talk about Remus without talking about Sirius, and vice versa. Before it might not have been like that, but now, I don’t know. It’s weird." Third person, slightly slashy MWPP.


Disclaimer: I only write about what could've been. HP belongs to JKR & the rest of the folks with a stake in that world.

_A/N: This is my second time writing Peter, this time through the lens of (my obviously slashy take on) Remus and Sirius's relationship. Despite what the publishing date might tell you, I actually wrote this right after Peter: On James... I'm just really, really bad at doing anything on time._

_Anywho, thank you for reading! Any and all feedback is much appreciated._

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I guess I can't really talk about Remus without talking about Sirius, and vice versa. Before it might not have been like that, but now, I don't know. It's weird.

The first time I met Remus I thought he was ill or something, he was so quiet and so pale. Turns out he _was_ ill, of course, from a condition that can't be cured. I turn into a rat every month to keep him from tearing himself to shreds. That ought to say something about our friendship. And I respect him a lot, really.

And Sirius was the polar opposite. He was loud, he was boisterous, he was snobby and self-righteous. That sounds really mean, what I just said, but at the time it was true. The first time I met him, he was just… I don't know, _insufferable_. He's gotten a lot better since then; a lot nicer. It can't have been hanging around James that made him a kinder person; it must have been me or Remus that did it.

I'd like to think it was me, that my passivity rubbed off on him, but I know it was Remus who changed Sirius so much.

Remus—he's interesting. Okay, that makes him sound like a science experiment, sorry. I didn't mean it that way. But he really is interesting. I've known him for almost seven years now, and yet… he's got so many secrets, I don't know if I'll ever understand him completely. But I try.

It's not that he's not one of us, because he is. He'll match James for every rude joke and Sirius for every spot of mischief. It's just that sometimes he'll fade into the background and then I wonder why he can't hold on to us. Is it because of his… furry little problem, like James calls it? He's safe now, thanks to us, but maybe he's still worried?

We're close, of course, me and Remus—all of us Marauders, we're like family. And he listens when I say things, but he doesn't say much about himself. I don't think it's because he's afraid of what we'll think, I think it might be because he's afraid of what he thinks. Or something like that. I don't know. Remus thinks too much.

Sirius teases him about it, but Sirius teases him about everything, because that's the way they are. It's… well, I don't think James has noticed yet, but I have. Remus and Sirius, they're… um, I don't know how to put it. They're close. Closer than close. They're…

Well, it's like, I'll walk into the dormitory and I'll see the two of them sitting on Remus's bed, and they'll just radiate this sort of… I don't know how to describe it, but this sort of intimacy that makes me feel like I'm completely invading. Trespassing on hallowed ground, or something like that. So I'll go back downstairs and challenge James to a game of chess, even though I usually lose.

They won't be _doing_ anything, I mean. They won't be snogging up in the dormitory when I walk in looking for a spare quill or something daft like that. But just… the way they'll sit: kind of leaning in towards each other, and how they talk so quietly together… I just feel kind of awful, barging in like that. So no, they're not snogging or doing anything like that, but… I don't know, I don't think I would be surprised if they did.

I guess I shouldn't be saying that, but I notice these things. And it's not just when they're alone, I don't think. Like Sirius has a way of draping himself all over anything… I remember the first time he threw himself at me, I nearly fell over and James almost died laughing. Anyway, Sirius is all touchy-feely, I'm sure there's some psychological reason behind it, but whatever, that's not the point. Remus isn't like that. He's not cold, no, but if an arm is to be thrown over a shoulder it won't be his.

But when he's with Sirius, it's like that… barrier? whatever holds him back, I don't know how to define emotions… that thing disappears, and they're just so _comfortable_ with each other, not even like how Sirius is with James.

And Sirius can be prickly sometimes—hell, he's snapped at me more than once in recent memory—but he's never ever short to Remus. And it's not like Remus is some glass doll that can't be harmed, because I've seen them come to blows and neither was any worse for the fighting.

The thing about Sirius is that he's so damned _unpredictable_; maybe that's why we've never gotten along quite so easily. It's not like we dislike each other, nah, I'd die for him and he'd die for me. But it's hard to tell what he thinks, sometimes… I mean, he's completely readable when he's in an okay mood, but then he can get moody and we're all left wondering, except for Remus of course.

I'm not a light sleeper, but once—just once—I was awake at about one or two in the morning, and I heard Sirius get out of his bed and go over to Remus's. And that sounds really bad, but all they did was talk. I know because my bed is near Remus's; our trunks are right next to each other. And they talked kind of quietly, in low voices so I couldn't hear and I wouldn't want to eavesdrop anyway, but it seemed important. I don't know. I keep saying that, but I really don't know.

All I _do_ know is that their friendship, or relationship, whatever it is… it's different.

I don't know if they're actually, you know, poofters, but… I'm just saying I notice these things. I don't know if it's good or bad, but I guess I'll stand by them whatever happens. I won't ask, I won't pry, but... they're my friends. Right? I'll do what I have to, I guess. As long as they're happy.

As long as we're all happy, it's okay with me.


End file.
